Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A sad day. . .

On our anniversary Emily surprised me with a little picture of a positive pregnancy test. Number 2 was on the way.

For weeks I have been plotting a big internet reveal involving facebook, twitter, and this site. I was waiting for our first Dr. appointment to get a picture of the first ultrasound to post as the center piece of our announcement.

God had different plans for today. . . .

Today we learned that Number 2 got called to heaven.

A whole myriad of emotions is hitting. However, the one that hurts the most doesn't have to do with me or Emily. It has to do with telling little Elinor.

She was so excited to be a big sister. Now, we have to tell her, not yet. Not this one. She probably will only partially understand. I expect to field questions for the next few weeks. It will be a long process for Emily and me to say goodbye to this little person, it only stands to be drawn out by Elin's processing of it.

I have often posted prayers on this site. It seems appropriate to do so again today.

God, I don't like this. It stinks. However, I know that you are bigger than this. I pray that out of this, that others are shown your glory. God, please take our sorrow and fear and replace it with understanding and love. Be with Elin; help her to understand. Teach us how we can use this to point her to You through this. Despite this God, I know that Your way is best, and choose to follow You.